I Didn’t Even Have to Use My AK

Well, today seems like a good day, at least so far. To be honest, I haven’t done a lot with it yet. I’ve been awake for about an hour and a half, had only a single cup of coffee and written only 1400 words.

Today’s’ goal, of course, is another 2000 words for clients and hopefully another 1500 to 2000 words for myself. It isn’t out of the realm of possibilities, though. I easily write 10k+ words per day when properly motivated.

I don’t count emails, text messages, or this blog in those totals, though. Maybe I should. I could drastically inflate my numbers that way… but I digress

I don’t tend to view the world like most people. I don’t see days as good or bad. More, I see them as lazy, successful or wasted. Now, a lazy day can be a successful day. It can also be a wasted day. It really depends on my view point.

If I am in the middle of a deadline crunch, then a lazy day is not what I need and it will be seen as a wasted day. Sometimes, though, I can’t help it.

I can tell you that today is not a wasted day. I am getting a lot of things done, and I have plans for a lot more. That is the beauty of my non-scheduled schedule. I don’t have to watch the clock to gauge my wins and losses.

I started today, for example, at 3pm. For everyone that began their day heading to the office at 7am (shudder), it would be seen as quite the wasted day, wouldn’t it? Assuming you were scheduled off work at 5pm, that gives you an hour and a half to be productive.

No, for me time constraints are just that, constricting. I don’t like to live like that. Always looking at the clock, rescheduling or re-planning my day according to the autonomous hands on a faceless dial.

For me, that is restrictive. What I imagine being in a straight jacket would do. I don’t fair well being restricted. I panic, I flop and flip and scream. When I did wrestling in school, I always panicked when I was in a hold or lock or being pinned.

That is why I lost so much. I won a couple times on points, but I don’t remember ever pinning anyone. Oh well, I tried.

Time for me now, is the same. Being down in the par terre position, the other guy’s fingers on my elbow and a arm wrapped around my waist. That always produced a lot of panic on my part. Point for a break away! That couldn’t come fast enough.

Par terre? Not for me!

The clock is similar. I find myself staring at it, watching the numbers tick over and closer to some dreadful end. Of course it never comes, the clock, like my bottom starting position, always reset itself. Only to drag the dread with it.

I hate that feeling.

So, I will start my day at 3pm, or 11am or 9pm. Whenever I choose to begin. I don’t worry what the clock says, it doesn’t control my waist and arm. I am not bound from the start and therefore I have no dread over what happens next.

I continue on until the work is done, then I work on something else. Isn’t that how it should be?

There is always something to do. I suppose I should go do that something.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *